So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
