youre lurking in front of me
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
