if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
