Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
