i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
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