i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
