I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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