Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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