The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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