How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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