wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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