I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Welp...herpes.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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