Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
