i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
