i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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