so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
