Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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