so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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