ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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