All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
