You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
