god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
