I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
