sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
