I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
