I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
