You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
He kissed a someone with a penis
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
