do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Your penis caused this!
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
