In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
