he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
