The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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