If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
