Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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