This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
