And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
