I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
