I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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