so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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