he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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