I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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