She is in my trunk
Please, let me fuck your mom
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
