Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
