last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
