This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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