I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
