FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
