I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
