it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
