Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
she peed on how many people?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
