youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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