we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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